A few weeks ago, a great thread was floating around on X (formerly known as Twitter and largely still called that but… oh, nevermind) lamenting the lack of meaningful Player Guides on TTRPG blogs. We have a plethora of guides on how to be a great Game Master but few on how to be a great player. Okay, that’s not entirely true - there are plenty of YouTube videos by DungeonCraft or Seth Skorkowsky offering great player advice, and a few blog posts on the topic, but they’re drowned out by the volume of DM advice content.
These guides universally offer similar advice: show up on time, be prepared, don’t be “that guy,” and more. They’re all right, of course.
But I thought I’d try something a bit different, hopefully fun, and insightful to offer my own guide on how to be a better player. Though I’m trying to have some fun, I mean all of this sincerely. I hope these rules make you grin but also make you think. And most importantly, I hope they help you find ways to enjoy your games more.
So here are my 12 Rules for Players to Live By, an Antidote to Chaotic Aweful Games: (queue inspiring music!)
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Sit up straight and look at the person speaking: Ground yourself in the game physically, even if it’s online. Sit straight up and look at whoever’s speaking, even if they’re on camera. Other players notice when you’re physically present and engaged, even through a camera, and it inspires them to be too.
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Treat your game like it’s something you’re responsible for: It’s an intimidating fact that it takes the entire group to make a great game, but only one player to ruin it. Take responsibility for your part in making the game great and easy. Show up on time, offer to bring snacks, reach out to struggling players, and help coordinate the game. These aren’t just the DM’s domain.
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Make friends with people who want to play a good game too: Find or foster other players who share your commitment. This doesn’t mean finding clones of yourself - differences, expressed healthily, can improve a game. What matters is having friends who share similar enough play styles and have internalized the goals of getting along and having a good time.
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Enjoy your character for what they are, not what they will be: The key to having fun is… having fun. It’s that simple. Don’t wait for some future ability or vision of what your character will be like in 5 more levels. Think of fun ways to use your current abilities now. Working around constraints can be one of the most creative and enjoyable exercises for anyone.
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Don’t let your character do anything that makes other players dislike them: Yes, that’s right - other players, not just characters. Games have a vibe. Don’t ruin it by playing a character contrary to that vibe. This doesn’t mean you can’t have conflict in the group, but understand when it starts to bleed out of character. Remember, “it’s what my character would do” is the lamest excuse in gaming.
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Focus on your own game before criticizing anyone else’s: If you feel dissatisfied, start by asking yourself what you can do about it. Are you taking enough initiative? Sharing the spotlight enough? By all means, discuss your goals and ideas, but never start from a place of criticizing others without considering your own actions first.
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Pursue what leads to the next adventure beat, not what is expedient: Players can often be ultimate optimizers, but that’s not always the most interesting way to play. Make choices that create interesting beats in the game, instead of forcing yet another initiative roll.
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Be upfront about your goals for the character, or at least develop some: Character arcs set TTRPGs apart from tactical games. Your goals can be simple or elaborate, but they should be something you can actively pursue in-game to form rich story hooks for the DM and connections to other characters.
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Assume the other players have good ideas: TTRPG groups descend into endless debate far too often. Remember, every game has a DM secretly conspiring with you to make you look awesome. So put your ideas on the table, but more often than not, pick the plan that will be the wildest adventure. We can be too careful not to make the wrong decision without acknowleging that the best gaming stories are usually a comedy of errors.
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State your intentions with your actions: Tell the DM you’re doing X because you’re hoping for Y. They can’t work with you if they don’t know where you’re going with an action. Making them guess what you want is a sure fire way to miss out on it. (Also, have an intention when you take an action.)
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Don’t bother the group when they’re having fun: Not every moment is for you. If the group wants to spend most of the session shopping and roleplaying, and that isn’t your thing, try to participate as best you can but otherwise let them have their fun. As long as the game changes things up and had balanced beats, it’s okay to go with the flow.
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Befriend a Wandering Monster: You don’t have to attack everything you see or kill everything you fight. Try parlaying, frightening it off to track back to its lair, or showing mercy and asking for a boon. Push for more interaction with the world - it can open up more story later on, find valuable allies, or just make the eventual fight more fun and exciting.
Remember, these rules are meant to make your game more enjoyable for everyone at the table. They’re not commandments carved in stone, but guidelines to help you navigate the sometimes chaotic waters of TTRPGs. So sit up straight, take responsibility, make friends, and most importantly, have fun!